One of the bitter truths of life is rejection; to put it simply, it sucks. Nobody wants to feel the bone-crashing rejection when you are told that you are not selected for the job; the physical pain that a heart-break can give you when the girl you liked since forever said no; the feeling soul-sapping feeling when your college application gets rejected.
We’ve all been there and while we are soaked in gloom, the man in perfect suit, the text on your screen and the not-so-good college application work as a teaser and a continuous reminder of your failure. But life isn’t over yet and you still have miles to go. When you fell off your bike as a kid, didn’t you sit back up and didn’t give up on it till you learned how to ride it?
It’s the same as an adult; rejection throws you down but sometimes standing back again seems hard and that’s when you need to roll on your back and look at the stars. Got rejected recently? Here’s how to deal with it.
10. Be proud of it
If something is easily available to you, its not worth much. The best things in life don’t come easy, you will have to work hard for them; basic isn’t it? Be proud of your failures because they are a sign that you are doing something out of your comfort zone and it probably means a great deal to you. Work harder and bounce back the next time and at some point you will achieve your goals. Let your failures be a guide to you and inspire you to do your best.
9. Don let it jeopardize your future
Just because you got rejected once or twice doesn’t mean there’s no hope for you. Not everyone is going to like your resume or would want to go out with you; accept the bitter truth. You are bound to face rejection many times in your life but try to learn something from each one of them. But this doesn’t at all mean that nobody is going to accept you; there are a lot of opportunities waiting for you to be explored and all you have to do is hold your head high and move on.
8. Be mentally prepared
When you are putting yourself in the situation where you might face rejection; prepare yourself mentally to confront the worst case scenarios. Though being confident is important but always have a back-up plan for just-in-case situations. If your job application gets rejected, collect yourself and apply to other places instead of assuming the worst about yourself. Expect less and when failure greets you, embrace it with open arms.
7. Keep moving
You can’t let one failure dominate your whole life. So what your idea got rejected? Work harder and form new ones! If you are failing at something, that means you are doing something productive; you are moving forward. Know that not everything is in your control; the only thing that you can control is your actions. Time is slipping away and it’s you who has to decide whether to kill it or use it. Rejection is inevitable; no matter how hard it is on you right now, it will pass and sometime later it won’t even matter.
6. Ask for feedback
It might be something that you did or in your application that the other person didn’t like. Don’t be ashamed of asking for feedback instead of lashing out at them for rejecting you. If the other person doesn’t want to go out with you, you can ask them to give you a hint about the reason and sometimes their reason might not be about you at all, it might be something really different; you never know. It will save you the pain of blaming yourself and you will be able to handle yourself way better.
5. The power of acceptance
No; not everyone that rejects you has miscalculated you. As harsh as it may sound, sometimes it is our own deeds that leads us our rejection. And telling yourself that it wasn’t our fault despite being aware of your mistakes will stretch your grieving period. Giving yourself false consolidation will make you weaker. Instead, be strong enough to accept your faults and let yourself grow.
4. Change your perspective
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. If you keep telling yourself that you are a failure; you may really become one. Criticizing yourself will make you believe the worst about yourself and even when you have nothing to do with your failures, your damaged self will force you to believe the opposite. As Maxwell said, “life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.” Change the way you look at your situation, instead of telling that you got rejected, tell that they said no.
3. Talk about it
Just got rejected by the boy you liked since forever? Go talk to your BFF about it. You heard us; simply go and talk about your feelings with a trusted friend. If you keep these feelings hidden away in the dark, it will build up and you will lose your balance. It will become hard for you to assess the situation rationally and that’s when you need to let it out of your system. Talking to your friend will ensure that you will not waste yourself completely over your heartache and will not go self-destructive.
2. Give yourself some time
Not all of the rejections that come your way are hard on you. But there are some instances that will hit you hard and will shatter you down. And no matter how many times you try to push your feelings away, they come back rushing at you with double impact. So it is okay to let the feeling take over you for some time. Give yourself some time to grieve and take a day off or two. But don’t completely drown yourself in the process; when you start feeling slightly better, take the high road and don’t look back.
1. Don’t take it personally
You are unique; you have your own qualities and whether it’s your crush that rejected you or it is your job application that got rejected; always remember that they don’t know you and their rejection does not define you as a person. It isn’t your fault that they rejected you; they might have their own reasons and as much as you hate it, respect their decision. They reserve the right to reject your request as you requested them. Don’t sit back in a dark corner and judge yourself because they don’t know everything about you and don’t decide your worth based on their decision.